The wonderful experience to feel good

Here in lovely South Africa, we find it most of the time difficult to feel good. Indeed, there’re more than enough reasons to feel bad, terrible and even depressed. After all, bad news is bombarding ordinary South Africans almost 24/7 screaming at us over all the media channels.

The consistent bad news has stolen the hope from many of the people of South Africa. Besides, we need hope to help us through these tough times. In fact, hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large (Wikipedia).

But then something unexpected happened on the 2nd of November, 2019. The Springbok rugby team of South Africa has won the Web Ellis trophy against England in the world cup final. They ran on the field as underdogs, but brutally demolished the well-funded and final favorites.

Yes, the national rugby team of South Africa, with all its troubles and challenges, has done the impossible – arriving home as world champions.   The moment that the captain of the team Siya Kolisi lifted the Web Ellis trophy, he also lifted the hopes of 57 million South Africans. And wow, don’t we ever need all the hope we can get!

At the end of the day, we live to feel good. Here’re some of the important things we need to feel good…

What do we experience when we feel good?

Feeling good is a positive emotion (Courtney E. Ackerman in Positive Psychology). Indeed, Positive emotions are emotions that we typically find pleasurable to experience. Here are some examples of positive emotions (Courtney E. Ackerman in Positive Psychology):

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Contentment
  • Interest
  • Amusement
  • Happiness
  • Serenity
  • Awe

According to Courtney, positive emotions can help you in the following ways:

  1. They can improve your thinking ability by uplifting your mood;
  2. Positive emotions stimulate your brain to let you feel good – lowering stress and upping happiness;
  3. Positive emotions can make as see the bigger picture of the world and so learn and experience more.

However, Courtney also mentions the importance of negative emotions.  In fact, she said that many experiences commonly thought of as positive can contribute huge amounts of stress to our lives. Such as:

  • Planning for an upcoming wedding
  • Preparing to move to somewhere you are excited to live
  • The holidays—especially with family!
  • Having a baby
  • Starting an exciting new job

I agree that we need both positive and negative emotions to live and survive on our planet. However, if the one emotion is too overwhelming – well then it is fight of flight I suppose…

What do we need to feel good?

Sara Maude is an international Solution Focused Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, EFT practitioner, and Advanced Theta Healer. She has posted a piece a couple of years ago that I want to share with you. The post has to do about what we (humans) need in order to feel good.

  1. The need for attention – We need quality attention from the people in our lives.
  2. Mind-body connection – The way we look after ourselves physically directly impacts our psychological well-being.
  3. Purpose and goals – Having a purpose or goal adds meaning to your life.
  4. Connection to something greater than ourselves – A sense of connection to like-minded people or others who share your perceptions and work for a common goal is important.
  5. Creativity and stimulation – Boredom and a lack of achievement can leave you feeling unsatisfied and depressed.
  6. Sense of security and safety – Without a sense of security and safety you can feel anxious.
  7. Intimacy and connection – It’s important to feel that at least one person really knows you for who you are.
  8. Sense of control – Feeling that you have no control in a given situation or in life can lead to feelings of hopelessness.
  9. The need for status – Being recognized for your talents helps meet your need for status.


To feel good is largely in your own hands. Yes, the external environments do play a role on how you feel. But it is also about you mind-set and relationships with people and the environment that will give you the wonderful experience to feel good.

This post was first publish in

Read also: The Joy of Shopping


Feature image: Pexels


Published by

Douw G Steyn

Management consultant, blog writer, dreamer

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